Why would any person require a noise reducing headphone?

 

We’ve all been there; you wake up one day to that steady, repetitive scream of a jackhammer scuttling the tarmac on the pavement, you cover your ears using the duvet, but alas, it’s to no avail .

 

You get out of bed and stagger towards the window, as you achieve this, the noise gets louder. You pull the curtains back and there, right in the middle of the road is a team of blokes in hardhats who’ve clearly been living on cold coffee and greasy food since about 4AM. There’s a barrier stopping anyone from going anywhere.

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

In between the jackhammer’s obtuse battlecry, you catch snippets of loud, full throated conversation, the way of talking that only comes from years of talking over roadworks.

 

“So I said to him, ‘listen mate, if you think for one second that I’m gonna-‘

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

“Nah, I haven’t seen that one yet, but the second was a massive pile of—“

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

You could be forgiven for thinking that it is the Ghostbusters re-playing that classic scene in the 2nd movie, sadly, that’s almost never the case.

 

You head out to clear your (by now officially ‘splitting’) headache, only to find that the whole street is subject to this mammoth street mining operation, suddenly that series 2 episode of ‘Black Books’ stops being so funny and becomes bitterly resonant.

 

If the above scene is anything you can relate to, then your problem has now been answered, if not; allow me to become a bit more technical. Headsets could be either active or passive noise cancellers. Passive noise cancellation is as low tech as anything you place inside your ear, or cover your ear with. The second type, active noise cancellation, generates a low field of white noise around your ears and blocks out all other sound.

 

So, to return to our previous scene, the workmen are planning on being here a while. Inquire with the workmen as to what their purpose is and so they’ll offer something like

 

“Yeah, busted gas main, you’re lucky we found it, usually because—“

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

Soon, everyone will be asking you what they’re doing, listed here are some answers you can give that disguise the truth that you yourself have no idea whatsoever: